Internal Family Systems (IFS) in Georgia & Florida

Have you ever noticed that you have a hard time “controlling” your emotions even if you told yourself you would stop getting triggered or become reactive so easily?  You want to respond differently but simply can’t get there?

In the model that I use – Internal Family Systems -  we call these responses or emotions parts. These parts are serving a specific function in your system and show up in specific ways. Your parts feel the need to protect you in some way and they take on certain strategies to do so. Sometimes in ways that tends to be hard for us to understand. Internal Family Systems is a powerfully transformative, evidence-based model of psychotherapy.

In my practice, I use IFS to explore the discomfort related to old patterns, managing overwhelm, and navigating the challenges of motherhood.The theory understands that people are more than one single mind and, instead, exist as a complex system of parts that are in dynamic (and sometimes conflicting) relationships with each other.

Believing that different parts can be present at the same time (multiplicity) is actually a good thing. Our inner parts contain valuable qualities and our core Self knows how to heal, allowing us to become integrated and whole. In IFS all parts are welcome.

Throughout your life and life experiences, these parts can take on roles that may have been helpful at the time of the event, but no longer seem effective in the present. For example, not expressing your needs as a child in an abusive home to secure safety, but now in adulthood this part is still active and you are unable to express your needs in romantic relationships. It is possible that those parts that once helped you survive have gotten completely burned out from trying to protect you the same way as in childhood, which you may no longer need.  

Sometimes these parts can show up in ways that do not make sense or can even be harmoful to ourselves or others. In IFS we have two different kinds of protective parts:

• Managers: Managers help us get on with daily life, while doing everything they can to avoid vulnerable or difficult feelings. They are proactive. They plan, control, strive, criticize and worry. 

• Firefighters: Firefighters put out emotional fires when managers fail to keep the flames tamped down. They are reactive. They are impulsive, desperate and destructive.

The third category of parts we call exiles.

• Exiles: exiles are the vulnerable parts of the personality. They are our parts that carry pain and trauma. They carry painful memories or toxic beliefs due to difficult experiences in our childhood. In the past, to get on with daily life, they had to be shut away (exiled). Now we can learn to love and hold them.

As you get to know your system and the parts that you carry inside you get to access the resource within you which we call Self. Self-energy exists in everyone. The Self is not a part but it is a state of being where you experience qualities such as Compassion (for self and others), Curiosity, Clarity, Connection, Creativity, Confidence, Courage, and Calm. From this state, you witness and get to know these different aspects of who you are. Parts can be updated to know that they are no longer alone in the roles they have taken on, which frees them up to do what they want to do. This will create true healing for your exiled parts.

The first step is for me to help introduce you to your core Self or for you to experience Self energy. Next, with this connection or energy we get to know your protective parts, their positive intent, and we develop a trusting relationship with them. Then, with the protector's permission, you will learn to access the exile(s) to uncover the childhood incident or relationship which is the source of the burden(s) or pain it carries. The exile is heard, witnessed and retrieved from the past situation. This way it can be guided to release its burdens. Finally, the protector can then let go of its protective role and assume a healthy one now that it does not need to protect the burden, which will translate into a more harmonious systems where protective parts don’t need to work as hard.

In my work with you there are three goals to treatment;

1) Free the parts from their extreme roles

2) Restore trust in the Self

3) Coordinate and harmonize the Self and the parts, so they can work together as a team with the Self in charge.